Breaking (but not rushing) News: Arrest Report from Farmington, CT
By Jack Beckett â Decaf, Not by Choice
The Farmington Mercury, always proud to be the last to breaking news, brings you an exclusive look at Farmingtonâs recent arrest log for December 4â6, 2024. Hereâs what happened while you were busy ignoring municipal updates.
On December 5, 2024, at 3:55 PM, Farmington Police arrested one Daniel R. Aparo, 35, of Naugatuck, CT. The scene unfolded on the wildly unassuming 00005 Munson Road. Mr. Aparo, likely not having the day he planned, was charged with:
- Criminal Trespass, First Degree (Connecticut Penal Code 53a-107)
- Breach of Peace, Second Degree (Connecticut Penal Code 53a-181)
- Interference with an Officer/Resisting Arrest (Connecticut Penal Code 53a-167a)
For those playing along at home, thatâs one count of being somewhere you shouldnât be, one count of not behaving once there, and one count of not leaving quietly when asked. Aparo was arrested in connection with an incident involving disorderly conduct, which may or may not include yelling, âYOU CANâT ARREST ME, I KNOW MY RIGHTS!â Spoiler alert: They can and did.
Aparo, displaying more financial foresight than tactical prudence, posted a $5,000 non-surety bond. His next court date is December 11, 2024, where he will presumably explain how this was just a big misunderstanding.
A Note on Justice
Remember that in our democracy (yes, even here in Farmington), everyone is innocent until proven guilty. So, hold your judgment, Farmingtonians â until the court date. Or donât. Weâre not your mom.
Shoutout to Farmington Storage!
This slow news moment is brought to you by Farmington Storage, the only storage facility in Connecticut equipped with museum-quality air. Thatâs right â your grandmotherâs pearls, your collection of old comic books, or even your unbridled ego will be preserved as if destined for the Smithsonian. Stop by 155 Scott Swamp Road or call 860-777-4001. Because some things in life â like your secrets and wine stash â deserve better than a damp basement. đˇ
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Jack Beckett
Farmington Mercuryâs resident caffeine philosopher. âEspresso yourself⌠unless itâs decaf. Then we riot.â
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